The Benefits of Quietness & Stillness for Coaching

by Hannah Massarella

I, like most people, have a tendency to create long to-do lists that my saboteurs would have me believe must be achieved in order for me to feel enough. I also have a to-be list as well, an internal idea of how I should be showing up in the world, how I should be feeling.

What happens, I’ve realized, when I engage with my to-do list and my to-be list is I become uptight, and feel like I’m in battle with myself. I end up serving no one and getting no where. I end up scolding myself for not consistently having everything together and not consistently being on top of my actions.

But what I really know is the journey of doing and being on purpose is on-going, there are bumps and dips and twists and turns. There are certainly moments where it feels I don’t have a handle on anything, and there are moments when I feel like I’m a little more on track.

So I’ve got into the habit of stopping, particularly when I’m in those moments of internal battle. Sitting in silence, paying attention to my breath. Being in the moment and becoming aware again of the paradox that there are a million things to do and a million ways to be, and there is also no where to go, nothing to do and no way to be. Everything is perfect in the moment.

When I enter into coaching meetings from the perspective that everything is perfect in the moment, I am able to go to greater depths with my clients. I find it easier to ‘dance in this moment’ and any agenda of mine that creeps in is easy to ignore. I enjoy my coaching sessions so much more when I’m coming from that quiet, still place.