Professional coaching is a highly fulfilling career enjoyed by hundreds of thousands of people worldwide in virtually every field. And like any rewarding profession, coaching comes with its share of challenges — including coaching difficult clients.
One of the most helpful skills you can develop as a coach is how to handle various “difficult” client behaviors. At Co-Active Training Institute, we’ve guided more than 150,000 professionals through our coach training program, and we’ve seen just about every challenge a coach can face.
In this post, we provide a wealth of advice on how to manage some of the most common client issues a coach may encounter, including practical tips for navigating these situations with professionalism and grace.
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How to Manage Difficult Clients in Coaching
What exactly is a “difficult client”? In general, it refers to clients who exhibit behaviors that hinder the coaching process, create challenges for the coach, or negatively impact the coaching relationship. This doesn’t necessarily make them a “bad” client, but it’s critical for the coach and client to work together to overcome any of these challenges so they don’t prevent the client’s progress.
Below, we list the most common challenges of coaching difficult clients that we’ve encountered over the last thirty years, including the key characteristics of each issue and a few tips for handling them.
Resistance to Change
A client who finds change too difficult may exhibit a strong preference for the status quo, even when it’s not serving them well. They may be uncomfortable with uncertainty, fear failure, or have a deep-seated belief that change is unnecessary or undesirable. You may see them downplay the importance of their goals, finding excuses for inaction, or clinging to familiar patterns despite their negative impact.
Key Characteristics
- Expresses constant skepticism about coaching methodologies
- Questions the coach’s expertise and credentials
- Shows defensive body language (e.g., crossing arms, avoiding eye contact)
- Responds with “yes, but…” to most suggestions
Recommended Actions
- Emphasize the benefits of change. Gently guide the client through the potential benefits of embracing new perspectives and making positive changes.
- Help clients identify their fears. Explore the underlying fears and anxieties that may be contributing to their resistance.
- Encourage small, manageable steps towards change. Break down larger goals into smaller, more achievable steps to reduce anxiety and build momentum.
- Celebrate progress. Acknowledge and celebrate even small victories to build confidence and motivation.
Over-dependence on the Coach
Sometimes a client may rely too much on their coach for guidance and direction, afraid to make even minor decisions without their coach’s approval or validation. They may struggle to make independent choices, defer to the coach for problem-solving, and hesitate to take action without explicit instructions. Their inability to navigate challenges autonomously may have been a motivation for them to hire a coach in the first place.
Key Characteristics
- Seeks constant validation or reassurance from the coach
- Wants approval for minor decisions
- Expects the coach to solve all their problems
- Struggles to make decisions independently
Recommended Actions
- Encourage independent problem-solving. Guide the client through the decision-making process by asking insightful questions and encouraging them to explore their own options.
- Provide tools and resources for self-guidance. Share relevant articles, books, or online resources that can support the client’s independent learning and growth.
- Gradually reduce the level of hand-holding. Over time, decrease your amount of support and guidance, encouraging the client to take more responsibility for their own progress.
Lack of Accountability
Without sufficient accountability, a client will struggle to fulfill the commitments they made during coaching sessions. They may miss deadlines, fail to complete assigned tasks, blame external factors for their lack of progress, and avoid discussions about setbacks. Their unwillingness to remain accountable will hinder the coaching process and prevent the client from achieving their desired outcomes.
Key Characteristics
- Frequently misses deadlines or coaching sessions
- Avoids responsibility for their progress
- Blames external factors for lack of results (e.g., “I didn’t have enough time,” “Life got in the way”)
- Doesn’t acknowledge their own role in achieving (or not achieving) their goals
Recommended Actions
- Set clear action steps with deadlines. Work with the client to create a realistic and achievable action plan with specific deadlines.
- Encourage self-reflection. Guide the client to reflect on their progress, identify any obstacles, and develop strategies for overcoming them.
- Use gentle yet firm accountability check-ins. Regularly review progress and discuss any challenges or roadblocks.
Dismissive Attitude Toward Feedback
If a client tends to ignore or disregard constructive feedback from the coach, it may prevent them from identifying areas for improvement and making necessary adjustments to their approach. They may react defensively to your suggestions, become argumentative, or minimize the importance of the feedback — all of which can hinder their growth and development.
Key Characteristics
- Ignores constructive feedback
- Reacts defensively to suggestions or critiques
- Fails to implement actionable advice from the coach
Recommended Actions
- Provide constructive feedback with specific examples. Focus on specific behaviors and their impact, rather than making general judgments.
- Highlight the value of feedback. Explain how feedback can help them achieve their goals and improve their performance.
- Foster a growth mindset. Encourage the client to view feedback as an opportunity for growth and development.
Unrealistic Expectations
When clients have an overly optimistic or idealistic view of the coaching process, they will end up frustrated and disappointed about their lack of true progress. They may expect immediate and dramatic results, underestimate the time and effort required to achieve their goals, or demand outcomes that are beyond the scope of coaching.
Key Characteristics
- Expect immediate results or drastic changes
- Demand outcomes that are unrealistic or beyond the scope of coaching
- Have unrealistic timeframes for achieving their goals
Recommended Actions
- Clearly communicate expectations. Discuss realistic timelines, potential challenges, and the expected pace of progress.
- Outline the scope of coaching. Clearly define the boundaries of the coaching relationship and what can be achieved within the scope of the engagement.
- Help the client set realistic and achievable goals. Guide them in setting SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound).
Excessive Negativity
Sometimes clients focus too much on problems, obstacles, and failures rather than solutions and opportunities. You might see them exhibit a pessimistic outlook about their future and doubt their ability to succeed. This negative mindset often creates a self-fulfilling prophecy and makes it difficult to achieve their goals.
Key Characteristics
- Frequent focus on problems rather than solutions
- Negative outlook about their ability to succeed
- Pessimistic outlook on the coaching process
- Resistance to acknowledging progress
- Overlook success
Recommended Actions
- Acknowledge their feelings without reinforcing negativity. Acknowledge their concerns and frustrations without dwelling on negative thoughts.
- Redirect focus to solutions and opportunities. Guide the client towards identifying and exploring potential solutions and opportunities.
- Set achievable goals to shift perspective. Focus on small, achievable goals to build momentum and confidence.
- Celebrate successes. Acknowledge and celebrate even small victories to reinforce positive beliefs and build momentum.
Lack of Commitment
Do you have a client who regularly misses coaching sessions, cancels appointments at the last minute, fails to complete homework assignments, and shows little enthusiasm or motivation for the coaching process? A lack of engagement can hinder progress and make it difficult for the coach to support the client’s growth.
Key Characteristics
- Frequently missing deadlines or coaching sessions
- Last-minute cancellations and rescheduling
- Inconsistent engagement patterns (e.g., not completing homework assignments)
- Hesitation with contractual obligations
Recommended Actions
- Gentle reminders of the commitment. Remind the client of their commitment to the coaching process and the importance of regular engagement.
- Adjustments or adaptations. Explore alternative scheduling options or adjust the coaching frequency to better accommodate the client’s schedule.
- Understand the root cause. Investigate the underlying reasons for the lack of engagement and address any concerns or obstacles.
- Reinforce the value of regular sessions and follow-ups. Emphasize the importance of consistent engagement for achieving coaching goals.
Frequent Changes in Defined Goals
If a client struggles with focus and commitment, they may exhibit behaviors such as shifting their focus from one goal to another before achieving any significant progress on the initial goal. They may become easily distracted by new ideas or lose interest in their current goals quickly. Poor consistency makes it difficult for the client to achieve any meaningful results.
Key Characteristics
- Changes direction frequently, shifting focus from one goal to another
- Shows excitement about new ideas but struggles to follow through on any of them
- Has multiple incomplete goals and struggles to maintain focus on any one objective
- Struggles with long-term commitment and easily loses interest
Recommended Actions
- Help the client prioritize goals. Guide them in identifying their most important goals and focusing their energy on those.
- Keep a visible goals tracker. Encourage the client to track their progress towards their goals and celebrate their achievements.
- Emphasis on current goals and why they matter. Help the client understand the importance of completing their current goals before shifting focus to new ones.
Expert Tips for Coaching Difficult Clients
Beyond the specific challenges you may encounter with your clients, there are a number of steps you can take to keep your clients on the right path. Coaching difficult clients often requires a more focused effort on your part to steer them in the direction they need to go.
Below you’ll find some of our best tips that any professional coach can use to help their clients succeed. If you really want to know how to deal with difficult clients, take the proactive approach demonstrated by the wealth of advice here.
Cultivate Genuine Curiosity
- Ask insightful questions to understand the underlying causes of the client’s challenging behaviors.
- Demonstrate genuine interest in their challenges and concerns.
- Eliminate distractions and focus fully on the client during coaching sessions.
Understand the Client’s Perspective
- Take the time to truly understand the client’s mindset and the reasons behind their behavior.
- Ask open-ended questions and let them express themselves fully.
- Jot down their concerns and observations to demonstrate that you are actively listening.
Foster Connection Through Empathy
- Demonstrate empathy and understanding for the client’s challenges and frustrations.
- Acknowledge their feelings without judgment.
- Build rapport by sharing relevant personal anecdotes and demonstrating genuine care for their well-being.
Maintain Composure
- Remain calm and professional, even in challenging situations.
- Avoid getting defensive or reacting negatively to the client’s behavior.
- Focus on finding solutions and resolving the issue constructively.
Offer Positive Reinforcement
- Acknowledge and celebrate client successes, no matter how small.
- Provide positive feedback and encouragement to reinforce their efforts.
- Focus on their strengths and areas of growth.
Set Clear Relationship Expectations
- Clearly communicate your expectations regarding communication, scheduling, and client participation.
- Establish clear boundaries and maintain professionalism throughout the coaching relationship.
Communicate Value Clearly
- Clearly articulate the value you provide as a coach and the benefits clients can expect to achieve through the coaching process.
- Share testimonials and case studies to demonstrate the positive impact of your coaching.
Aim for Collaborative Outcomes
- Foster a collaborative partnership with the client, working together to overcome challenges and achieve their goals.
- Involve the client in decision-making processes whenever possible.
- Address any conflicts or concerns openly and constructively.
Conflict Resolution
- Identify the core issues and address them directly and respectfully.
- Be willing to acknowledge your role in any miscommunication or misunderstandings.
- Focus on finding mutually agreeable solutions that address the client’s concerns while maintaining professional boundaries.
Learn Everything About Coaching From Co-Active
At the Co-Active Training Institute, we’ve been training and empowering professional coaches for over 30 years. The Co-Active Model provides a highly effective foundation for building meaningful coaching relationships through partnership, presence, power, possibility, and presence.
Our comprehensive coach training programs are ICF Accredited and equip you with the knowledge, skills, and tools you need to navigate challenging situations, build strong client relationships, and achieve success as a professional coach. Whether you want to learn about coaching difficult clients or simply take the first steps in your coaching career, we can help you make it happen.
Explore our programs today and discover how Co-Active can help you build a successful and fulfilling coaching practice.