Communication is at the root of great leadership and the basis of human connection. Human beings are not solitary creatures. We thrive on our bonds with one another, and healthy communication moves those relationships forward. We achieve goals through careful listening and articulating ideas. Whether people are in the throes of opening a restaurant, landing a plane, or raising children, listening and communicating are equally important.
Coaching employs unique listening techniques. In this article, we explore Co-Active’s three levels of listening.
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What Are the Levels of Listening?
Some people think that excellent communication is saying all the right words. However, attentive listening is equally important. In Co-Active Coaching, we consider three levels of listening. What distinguishes them is where you focus as you listen to another person.
- Level One Listening is listening primarily to your own thoughts or agenda. This is where your mind is not focused on what the other person is saying. Perhaps you are thinking about what to say next in the conversation and only half-hearing what the other person is saying. Or your mind may wander to another topic altogether. The main point is you do not fully hear the other person.
- In Level Two Listening, you are intensely focused on what the other person is saying. Nothing distracts you. Thoughts about the past or the future don’t intrude. Your ideas don’t get in the way of hearing the other person.
- Level Three Listening is also directed towards the other person but has a broader focus. You hear more than just their words — you pick up on body language, inflections, tone of voice, pauses, and hesitations, becoming more aware of the whole person.
An Experiment to Unlock the Higher Levels of Listening
Co-Active Coach Training sits in levels of listening two and three.
Here is a simple experiment you can do with another person to practice listening at the different levels:
- Each of you takes a moment to think of something you love — a particular interest or hobby or a favorite book or film.
- Take turns talking for two minutes about the thing you love. The first time, practice at the first level of listening. Do not ignore the person talking, but don’t let them hook you in. While they are talking, focus on what you want to say on this subject, or try to let random thoughts distract you. Then, when you are talking, notice what it feels like for your listener to be distracted.
- The second time, practice listening at level two. Be curious. Stay alert to anything that makes you think “Wow!” or want to know more about it, however small or large. This is important when polishing the different levels of listening skills.
- Finally, participate at the third level. When you listen this time, try to be aware of what this feels like to the other person. Feel their energy. Notice the glint in their eye and the animation in their body language. Open up all your senses and be receptive to what the other’s posture, inflection, and tone show you. When you do this, you will appreciate the power of the higher listening levels.
As you intentionally listen at each of the three levels in this exercise, you can begin to experience the value of the higher levels and appreciate how it feels to be listened to well. Repeat this experiment as you develop your skills. Try choosing different topics — things you hate, things of utter indifference. If you feel ambitious, try taking on Level Three listening by doing the exercise without words — only use vocal tones, body language, gestures, and facial expressions, but don’t talk. You’ll be surprised by what you hear.
Learn to Listen With Co-Active Training
Co-Active has trained coaches and leaders worldwide for more than three decades. Our approach empowers learners with a dynamic, evolving foundation that transforms how they understand themselves and engage with the world. We produce high-capacity leaders and coaches with increased influence and relevant skills to help shape others.