What does it actually mean to listen well?
Co-Active coaching identifies three distinct levels of listening, and most people spend their time at the least effective one. Keep reading to learn
- What separates the three levels of listening from each other.
- How to recognize which level you’re operating from.
- How to practice moving into deeper, more effective listening.
Communication is at the root of great leadership and the basis of human connection. Human beings are not solitary creatures. We thrive on our bonds with one another, and healthy communication moves those relationships forward. We achieve goals through careful listening and articulating ideas. Whether people are in the throes of opening a restaurant, landing a plane, or raising children, listening and communicating are equally important.
Coaching employs unique listening techniques. In this article, we explore Co-Activeโs three levels of listening.
What Are the Levels of Listening?
Some people think that excellent communication is saying all the right words. However, attentive listening is equally important. In Co-Active Coaching, we consider three levels of listening. What distinguishes them is where you focus as you listen to another person.
- Level One Listening is listening primarily to your own thoughts or agenda. This is where your mind is not focused on what the other person is saying. Perhaps you are thinking about what to say next in the conversation and only half-hearing what the other person is saying. Or your mind may wander to another topic altogether. The main point is you do not fully hear the other person.
- In Level Two Listening, you are intensely focused on what the other person is saying. Nothing distracts you. Thoughts about the past or the future donโt intrude. Your ideas donโt get in the way of hearing the other person.
- Level Three Listening is also directed towards the other person but has a broader focus. You hear more than just their words, you pick up on body language, inflections, tone of voice, pauses, and hesitations, becoming more aware of the whole person.
Understanding where your focus lands in each level is the key to recognizing which one you’re operating fromโand choosing to shift. Here’s what that looks like:
| Listening Level | Where Your Focus Is | What You Hear | What You Miss | Impact on the Other Person |
| Level One: Internal | Your own thoughts, reactions, and agenda | Words, filtered through your own interpretation | Tone, energy, and the gap between what someone says and how they say it | They feel unheard or rushed, as if the conversation is really about you. |
| Level Two: Focused | Entirely on the other person | Words, tone, emotion in their voice, body language | The broader context and what’s happening in the room around you | They feel genuinely seen and heard; trust begins to build |
| Level Three: Global | The person and everything around them; all your senses and intuition are open | Everything at Level Two, plus hesitations, energy shifts, and what isn’t being said | Your attention is fully open; you’re receiving the whole picture. | They feel deeply understood; they open up; transformation becomes possible. |
How to Unlock the Higher Levels of Listening
Co-Active Coach Training sits in levels of listening two and three.
Here is a simple experiment you can do with another person to practice listening at the different levels:
- Each of you takes a moment to think of something you love โ a particular interest or hobby or a favorite book or film.
- Take turns talking for two minutes about the thing you love. The first time, practice at the first level of listening. Do not ignore the person talking, but donโt let them hook you in. While they are talking, focus on what you want to say on this subject, or try to let random thoughts distract you. Then, when you are talking, notice what it feels like for your listener to be distracted.
- The second time, practice listening at level two. Be curious. Stay alert to anything that makes you think โWow!โ or want to know more about it, however small or large. This is important when polishing the different levels of listening skills.
- Finally, participate at the third level. When you listen this time, try to be aware of what this feels like to the other person. Feel their energy. Notice the glint in their eye and the animation in their body language. Open up all your senses and be receptive to what the otherโs posture, inflection, and tone show you. When you do this, you will appreciate the power of the higher listening levels.
As you intentionally listen at each of the three levels in this exercise, you can begin to experience the value of the higher levels and appreciate how it feels to be listened to well. Repeat this experiment as you develop your skills. Try choosing different topicsโthings you hate, things of utter indifference. If you feel ambitious, try taking on Level Three listening by doing the exercise without wordsโuse only vocal tones, body language, gestures, and facial expressions, but donโt talk. Youโll be surprised by what you hear.
What Do the Levels of Listening Sound Like?
Consider a manager who notices her direct report has gone quiet in recent meetings. At Level One, her attention is on her own interpretation: “He’s probably fine. Just busy. I’ll check in later.” She hears his words but filters them through her assumptions and moves on.
At Level Two, she sets her own agenda aside and asks with genuine curiosity: “I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter lately. What’s going on for you?” She’s fully present with him, focused, attentive, holding space for whatever comes.
At Level Three, she’s listening to all of it at once: for his words, yes, but also the slight tension in his posture, the pause before he answers, the flatness in his voice. She names what she’s noticing without attachment: “I’m sensing something’s shifted. What’s really happening?”
That question, asked from that quality of presence, opens something that a content-only conversation never would.
What Are Common Listening Mistakes?
The most common mistake is staying at Level One for too long. Your attention drifts to and stays on your own agenda: what you want to say next, how their story connects to yours, what you think they should do. The other person feels this shift even if they can’t name it. They sense they’re not fully heard, and they pull back.
A related pattern is listening for the problem rather than listening to the person. You hear something that sounds fixable, and your attention moves toward solutions. Co-Active coaching holds that people are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole, which means staying curious and present is often more valuable than moving quickly toward answers.
Interrupting or redirecting breaks the quality of listening in a different way. Someone shares something real, it reminds you of your own experience, and you jump in. The intention is connection, but the effect is that you’ve taken the conversation back. Deeper sharing tends to stop there.
Finally, there’s listening only to words. The words say “I’m fine.” The tone is flat. The pause runs a beat too long. When your listening stays at the surface level of language, you miss what the person is actually communicating. Level Three listening holds the whole person, not just the words, and creates the conditions where what’s really true can surface.
How Co-Active Training Focuses on Listening Well
Co-Active training is built on the premise that listening is a skill, and skills develop through practice, not instruction. In Ignite, participants coach real people on real topics between sessions and bring that experience back to class for feedback. They practice with people at different levels of familiarity, on topics that range from deeply meaningful to entirely mundane, so their listening capacity gets tested across the full range of human conversation, not just the situations that feel natural or easy.
What that practice reveals, consistently, is that listening is an active choice. Where you place your attention shapes what the other person is able to share. When someone feels genuinely heard, at Level Two, and especially at Level Three, they open up in ways they wouldn’t otherwise. That’s not incidental. Co-Active training treats listening as something you do, not something that happens to you, and that shift changes how people show up in every conversation, inside and outside of coaching.
Learn to Listen With Co-Active Training
Co-Active has trained coaches and leaders worldwide for more than three decades. Our approach empowers learners with a dynamic, evolving foundation that transforms how they understand themselves and engage with the world. We produce high-capacity leaders and coaches with increased influence and relevant skills to help shape others.
Practice These Listening Levels with Real Clients
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the 3 levels of listening in Co-Active coaching?
Co-Active defines three levels: Level 1 (internal, focused on yourself), Level 2 (focused, laser attention on the other person), and Level 3 (global, sensing the wider field and energy of the conversation).
How do you practice Level 2 listening?
To practice Level 2, you put your full attention on the other personโs words, tone, and emotions, asking curious questions and letting go of your own mental distractions.
Why is listening important in coaching?
Deep listening helps clients feel seen and understood, uncovers what really matters, and creates the trust needed for insight and meaningful change.