As we approach the winter solstice I grow increasing aware of it being a time of going into the “cave”. It is time for this big bear to sink into the work of “reflecting”. Some traditions refer to this time as the “dreamtime” or the “Kiva moons”. Today I am tripping a bit on reflecting. I think in the darkness of these shorter days the veil between the vastness of the sub conscious and the conscious is thinner. We can dream our way through that veil and we can discover a lot by “reflecting” that subconscious as it shines more brightly through the thinner veil. I wonder if the subconscious is nigh onto impossible to see or comprehend when we attempt to look at it directly, when we try to force our way through the veil and point our being directly towards the subconscious if we don’t get blinded by ego, reactions, patterned behavior, confusion and overwhelm. Instead we notice it in our peripheral vision, we notice its reflection and are able to then be a bit more curious and adventurous as we explore this vast mystery. This is the time of year to look for that reflection and that glimmer in your periphery and be curious with what you do with it as you notice it, interpret it and begin to make sense of it. As it bubbles out of the reflection and into “reality”.
I believe that this is where we uncover our purpose and touch the deeper meanings of our lives. it is in this ongoing reflection, bubbling and interpreting of new information that is coming through the veil from the subconscious. This is why I have always said that purpose is an unfolding or revealing of a journey and not the destination or the goal of that journey.
“Who am I?” “Why am I?”
These are the questions for which purpose is the answer. And the answer to these questions can not exist in some finite point in time, it can’t be checked off on some list and now we move on to the next thing. Because “Who am I?” and “Why am I?” are an ever changing story aren’t they? Who I am today is not the same as who I was yesterday and who I will be tomorrow. And yet paradoxically I am exactly the same person I was yesterday and will be tomorrow. Purpose has to have room for that paradox and in order to have that room we need to keep reflecting and peripherally glancing at the veil to notice what new information is bubbling up from the subconscious. We need to not get fixated or attached to what we have found in our exploration thus far and keep looking, reflecting, editing and tweaking our way to an always clearer understanding of our answer to those two questions.
Another paradox that exists is that while we need to reflect and deepen our understanding of our purpose we also need to be in action in our lives and move forward on our evolutionary journey letting our purpose guide us. As our purpose guides us forward on this magical mystery ride called life we need to keep reflecting and tweaking our purpose. We need to keep tweaking and moving, tweaking and moving, tweaking and moving. We need to know that there is no “I” that is defined or set in stone while at the same time taking a powerful stand for the “I” that is created by purpose.
And here is the really hard part in all this. We need to be able to be completely present in this moment at the same time. We need to not be so focused on this journey and the answers to these questions that we miss all of life that is happening around us in this moment. Because this moment is completely influencing the answers to those questions and so many others, and when we are not present we will miss those clues and cues.